Interviewer asked the inevitable question, how is it
that 10-womyn are living together? I guess I am somewhat
responsible for this mad experiment.
"How so?" Interviewer
Well it began about Imbrolyg time; after rain clouds
scurried; I decided I will make a film for womyn who
in essence love womyn. Though I wanted the film to have
a deceptive view of lesbian life with bits of raw natural
tendencies lesbians have genetically developed their
gifts (so only real lesbians and intelligent womyn may
empathize with the undertones).
Little did I know what I was getting my militant feminist
lesbian kind hearted self into when I recognized the
green danger of being on campus early one morning. Too
fuckin early; see folks I am not a morning person; not
3 am anyway.
Now I must show extremes, for it is an objective of
which I am . Death. Obvious deal is Death is life; it
is no wonder I discovered the counter reality to Death,
which is Love who is Vicki.
Wow! First impression of Love showed me an inquisitive
energy. Vicki chuckles when I tease how she conned me
into the "love" appeal associated with life.
Of course, I choose Death as my code name to antagonize
her beautiful nature.
Little did I realize that my militant feminist hating
dog men raging self encountered the most comforting
smile from Love. She immediately took the posters in
hand and nailed them to the Redwood campus central board
cause I managed to pierce my index finger with the bloody
nail. After cleaning the germs off, Love stopped me
dead in my tracks with questions. Why is your name Death?
May I please be in your documentary? She pressed. Unconsciously
yet deliberately the stereophonic sounds rushing towards
me - made me put my ear plugs in and motioned with my
finger to my lips for her to HUSH.
Death laughed asked Love if she cared to have some breakfast,
so I may explain the process of this acute documentary.
Redwood life along the shores of Santa Cruz gave a crisp
breeze while we traveled half a mile to the local mom
and pop diner. The diner kept Santa Cruz's mystique
of tye dye immortality. I left to find a MoJo magazine
and when I returned my usual breakfast lay before me.
Staring and bewildered, Death jumped at Vicki. How did
you know? Oh and I like apple not grapefruit juice with
my wheat toast no butter, three bacon and home fries.
Love grinned. Well confessional time dear.I watched
you and recalled what you ate last Tuesday at Grub,
the campus mess hall. Damn oh damn I thought to myself.
What is Love after?
Finishing breakfast, I saw George peripherally from
my right eye. Waved him over and introduced Vicki. Before
parting and arranging a time to meet with Love again,
Death asked know anyone else who is interested in allegorical
lesbian beauty in the real world of my documentary.
Fuck perhaps the whole deal was surreal; nonetheless
George knew Ocean, an anomaly in nature and beautiful
with a brain. Hmmm I wondered Ocean sounded essential
to the essence of what this documentary may prove as
soon Death organized brain cells.
Vicki mentioned living in Germany where mentally her
backbone lived; when Vicki unintentionally left Varin's
heart cynically scarred like the callused hands of a
blue-collar hunter named Michael. Damn Varin missed
her; she yelled alone in the dim red apartment. Maybe
the neighbors heard her; ahhh like it matters now. Sedation
sounds and feels damn good, but it is illogical. The
blues are incomparable to spitting orange fireballs
as profane justifiable words screech and tear while
rolling off Varin's tongue because the pain her heart
Varin faintly hears awesome conversations from worthy
womyn. Still her brain is geared on one mind set right
now; the power behind degradation and how fuck equality
because just once she wants a man to feel inferior and
depicted as shameful. She giggles in her psychobabble.
Well now time is forsaken and womyn are kicking ass
Haunting herself, Varin wished she opened her front
door more often; yet her own inadequacies held her back.
Timid perhaps but the true innate feelings transcended
emotions that deceived and tarnished damn fast. Evolved
in Varin's brain, she is damn afraid for playing a self-
inflicting mental masochist role in order to sedate
what she misses most in herself. Varin's truth hurts
for she is demented and caring heartfelt golden emotions
are not supposed to break her green walls.
Damn it she screamed to herself. She refused to feel
anything because it neither in her realm nor her personality.
Her dementia believed that to feel was inferior, and
yet she knew that she must feel for it is just down
right ignorant! Bugs even fuckin feel; the fact blood
runs through their exoskeletons (even if yellowish green)
--- it is a life form it feels.
All right so paranoia is a game I played. Sue me beautiful
anger is reincarnating in my mind so that I can be the
goddess of bugs; ahhh forget about it---it is too ticklish
Clouds are clouding my judgement and therefore I shall
not consume the furry drug. Oh yeah the nocturnal alien
bug from rain cleansed my surface space of complexity.
Though Varin squashed the bug as love exits her heart.
No! I am not comparing Vicki or any person of value
to me to a bug; for bugs and womyn are too damn instinctual
for survival, so the real worth of comparison maintained
in strange psyches of Buddha.
Fact remains holy. Varin wanted an agape love for a
womyn which amazes, intrigues, and makes the wonder
of life; she must refrain from walking on air just to
remind herself the reality that any love will obliterate
if the threshold of hate seethes in the same blood you
Animal where is Dementia at? Tell me! I need it bad
Rrrrrrrgggh. Don't be such a saintly bastard - Luna.
Am desperate for Dementia to help me with my brain ache,
Take it damn it! Ruin me. Like you ever cared about
my stability. I need Dementia more than bloody ..Sees
how I cant even finish a sentence; Luna whines and lowers
Shhhhh all right Animal not right now I think Death
is sneaking up the oak stores.
How do you know, Animal speculates. Well the last time
I had Dementia, she saw Death, sighs Luna.
Burning candle wax drip rapidly, and I fall into a blue
trance and fidget. Animal laughs incorrigibly and shakes
her finger at Luna; no I just think your fuckin demented.
Animal leaves and wonders and runs and manipulates her
unconscious just to make the all might moon obsidian.
Simplicity trapped naked within chemical compounds of
Death naturally grabbed the sterling silver dagger and
branded her left forearm. Strutting down into the red
brick echoed basement searching for a bucket; out of
the corner of her green eye; she sees red. Turned quickly
What the fuck is wrong with you, Death? Why do you dirty
everything? Clean the damn floor.
Death silently stared at her creation. Smiling making
guttural noises-Death laughed and mumbled: I am Death
that's what the fuck is wrong with me! I want to visually
touch life, so hahaha, I spilt my vermilion blood and
Joker tries not to listen and grumbles clean it up.
Suddenly Love storms down the busy stairs and hands
flying want to know what is going on.
Clenched stained dagger in hand, Death stands grinning.
Joker giggling manages to spill that Death is up to
her same old magic tricks. Love gives Death an eerie
disapproval and warns Death not in the house.
To be continued.
* * *